Kids are gross

Children change you.  They change your body, your relationships and most definitely your definition of what is gross.  I know people that gag at the site of boogers/poop/pee but as a parent you are literally in the shit at all times and I think your gag reflex just totally shuts down. 

Please enjoy this list of really gross things that have happened to me recently and probably more than once.  I have no shame.  Just a good sense of humor.  

1. I let the dogs lick Knox's tray one night.  The next morning I was rushing to feed him breakfast and put his food on the tray...that I never washed.  It looked so clean I couldn't tell.  By the time I realized what I had done, he was eating and I was too terrified to piss him off by messing with his food.  So, I let him eat off of it.  

2.  We put his shoes on surfaces like the kitchen counter all the time.  His shoes walk on the same ground that our shows walk on.  Can you even imagine putting one of your own shoes on your kitchen counter??

3.  I frequently wipe/pick boogers off his face with my bare hand.  I then usually dispose of them in a tissue or the sink.  But once, I wiped a booger right on the back of his shirt.  And once...I let Clementine eat it.  

4.  There was a boy in a local eating establishment recently that was eating ice cream topped with marshmallows.  One marshmallow fell on the floor of the restaurant.  He crouched down and ate it off the floor.  With his mouth.  No, he did not pick it up and put it in his mouth.  He put his mouth on the floor.  I completely understood and didn't even consider stopping him.

5.  Knox bathes in our kitchen sink.  He sloshes a lot of water out and throws toys out as well and I dry the floor with a dish towel after his bath.  Sometimes I leave the towel on the floor for days. Some people might keep dish towels on the counter.  Ours is just on the floor.  In the beginning Max did not understand the purpose of this towel on the floor and picked it up thinking it had just fallen.  He dried some dishes with it and set it back on the counter.

xoxo,

Ashley

p.s. I'm leaving out all stories involving poop and Knox's wandering hands on the changing table.  You're welcome.